Defining Moments.

Often we are faced with difficult choices... the dilemma often becomes whether we can live with ourselves if we DO a particular thing... or if we can live with ourselves if we DON'T do a particular thing. These are the defining moments in our lives.

Borrowed Words

"The danger is that the soul should persuade itself that it is not hungry.
It can only persuade itself of this by lying."
- Simone Weil

Home

They didn’t see her hovering outside the room as they discussed her future, pondering the most prudent way to remove her from her home. They tossed their words around as if they were solving a giant jigsaw puzzle instead of rearranging her life, speaking of ‘available foster care’ and ‘no family members can be located’ and ‘temporary placement’. There was no mention of the backyard swing her father had hung from the branches of the giant maple tree that left her covered in dappled sunlight as she dreamed away the hours. There was no mention of the wooden rolling pin her mother used to make biscuits on the week-ends… the rolling pin that her grandmother and great-grandmother had used with such love. No one mentioned Callie and Caleb, the lumbering Labrador retrievers that were as much a part of her as her own shadow and shared her heart as well as her space. They didn’t know the scent that her mother’s closet would still hold… even now… even when she would never be here again.

Fly

An incredible amount of hype is in the air about change and renewal and recovery for America. I'm thankful for that... but also smart enough to know that nothing happens fast... and trying to settle my spirit in for the long haul. Barack Obama is, in my opinion, the right leader for our nation at this time... but he is still human... and this is still a nation in a giant mess. What may happen nationally will take a substantial amount of time to trickle down to the individual. I must admit that frustration and anger are consuming more of my energies than I would like... oh, and fear... the never-ending fear.

Courage... I WILL fly.

Hers

The tattered hoodie did little to ward off the icy wind blowing across the water from places unseen, but she pulled it tighter around her just the same, remembering when down jackets and logo-emblazoned fleece protected her from the elements. She lifted her face to the wind, drinking in the freedom while at the same time her heart cried for the gentle walls that once were hers. Eyes scanned the horizon, seeking an empty place to park her fears, her anger, her aloneness… heart yearning for a silence that screamed of peace, not emptiness. This was her world since they left, since the smiles faded, since the joy evaporated… since she was alone in this world without boundaries, without arms to be enveloped in, without warm lips to kiss her goodnight or hands to tuck the blankets in close around her in the warm room that was once her castle. Angrily, she shakes her head, dismissing the mourning and turning her mind to one more step, one more night, one more tomorrow. Digging her hands deeper into her pockets, shells and stones bruise her fingertips and she smiles a small smile at these few precious things that are truly hers.

Someday

Warm breath caressed her cheek as she lingered in that place somewhere between dreaming and waking, fingers brushing away the tickle of a butterfly light touch, hands tugging the patched blanket more snugly around her shoulders, chin burrowing deep into the toasty softness. A whisper passed through her thoughts… only to be quickly swept away… ignored for the comfort of spending the grey morning nestled in a warm, dry bed.

“If you don’t wake up, you may find yourself with scorched eyelashes.”

“Silly dragon, you can’t even make smoke,” she giggled.

“Yes, but someday… someday I will. Then you’ll see.”

Stairway to Heaven (Wordle)

LOVE this!

Belonging

She held out a trembling hand… unsure of this unknown… wanting the dream to merge into reality… not to be whisked away with the waking. The deep sapphire eyes didn’t waver… looking into hers as if searching for the answers to questions she didn’t yet know… reading her heart and soul. Moments stretching to ages, the wings unfurled… causing her to yelp and then clap a hand over her mouth… fearful of startling this magic into flight. The little creature squawked as it scampered behind the shards of broken shell… unsure and hesitant, but above all curious. The girl set her jaw, rolled her shoulders and once again reached a tentative hand toward the skinny little ball of shimmering color, drawn like a moth to flame. Sniffing the air with upraised nostrils… lifting tiny talons… the baby dragon tiptoed forward… nuzzling its face against her outstretched hand with something remarkably similar to a purr… it’s voice filling the lonely places of her being with warmth and belonging as it silently called her by name.