Meantime Living

Borrowed words today...

"Meantimers don't live in the here and now, they live in the there and now. 'In the meantime' is a defense. It's a way of hedging your bets and avoiding the very risks that often lead to personal growth. 'In the meantime' people almost always have big plans: to get in shape, to sign up for some classes, to quit their jobs, to start that novel, to change their lives. The present is trivialized; it's the future that matters. All of the things they're not happy with are just for now. These same meantimers believe they hold the reins of their destiny by keeping a full calender.

But more than anything, 'in the meantime' living is is motivated by fear. It may be the fear of dealing with an unhealthy relationship, the fear of being alone... but it's fear nonetheless. And that fear is preventing you from taking a needed step toward empowerment. Worse, that fear is keeping you in a state of limbo, and it's lowering the standards you're willing to tolerate.

Sometimes the 'there and now' isn't about the future, it's about the past and not being able to move on.

Imagine going through years of your life with the gut feeling that none of it really matters yet, that it will start at some point in the future, and that the present doesn't really count. Does this feeling seem familiar? Have you ever told yourself that everything will ultimately fall into place once you (fill in the blank, e.g., publish that book, lose ten pounds, meet a great person, get that promotion, buy that house, and so on?)? And who wouldn't want to convince themselves that at least some of the effort was worthwhile, that all of the energy you expended on whatever really did matter?

We can't live every moment like it's our last because doing so would make every moment too serious. So we do the opposite. We live lightly and frivolously, squandering our moments."

- Ian Kerner